Why not show appreciation?;

We haven't talked in months. MONTHS, and it hurts to recall that fact. Do you understand how much it hurts to not talk to someone I consider really close for months? Everyday, I'm always surrounded by pain; physical, mental and especially emotional. To deal with that was a tough challenge to me.

I was really afraid even saying hi to you. I developed this fear that whenver you come closer, I'd cringe, freeze and try to stay away from your field of view. But at the same time, I just want to say hi and talk...once again.

Now I gathered all my courage, eliminate my fear just to talk for a few minutes. Heck, I even texted my fear out and apologized for something absurd. I was...actually...happy though...when we finally...talked.

Thirty minutes have passed, and a few text messages. You had to cut the conversation and say "ttyl." Whenever it comes from you, my mood just goes down...quickly. I become extremely upset afterwards. It was my kryptonite.

Why won't you show some...appreciation? That...we haven't talked in months and I finally had to courage to talk to you. Aren't you glad that I FINALLY talked to you once again? Don't you realize I've been afraid of you for a while! I thought you hated me. I thought you dont want to be friends with me anymore. But I threw those insecurities behind and I told myself "I'm going to talk to her!"

Weren't you...glad? I mean... think about it! Do I really need to tell you EVERYTHING just so you'd realize? Because if it's the only way for you to know, then I'll tell you everything.

It's just that, I wish you said "thanks for talking to me" and not "ttyl"
That way, I would be much happier. Because I know...I know... that you appreciated my efforts.

But what can I say? You're my best friend. Even though you upset me so many times, you're the only one who can make my absolutely happy.

//Christian.

Day one - Your best friend;

Dearest best friend;

Hey hey! It's been a while since I even wrote something for you. Even though I have been writing a lot of things about you here in this blog, this the first time I'm going to personally write to you. We saw each other this morning with your friend scaring the heck out of me just so I'd have to take a newspaper. That made my day, actually! But you know what upset me? We didn't talk at all. We didn't even say hi to each other. After taking the newspaper, we went on our own ways... We haven't talked in months; heck, I'm lucky if you said "hi" to me whenever we pass by. When are we hanging out? It's been a year since we promised that we will hang out... yet, I'm still waiting.

You know, I still miss the times when we had the same math class last year. It was the best! We didn't care about what we talked about, all that mattered was we talked and talked and talked and trusted each other so well. I wish I can go back to those six months and relive those again. Now we've drifted apart...farther than I thought. I miss you, where are you?

Sometimes, I feel like you don't value my friendship as much as I value yours. As much as I hate it, I've gotten used to it and I'll just have to take the blame for not doing anything...even though it's not my fault. I tried 200% of the effort to compensate the lack thereof in your part...or so it seems. I'm still holding on..as this is the only thing I care about. *sigh.

I hope we get a same class together for senior year. We need to catch up with a lot of things and I still need to tell you my story. In return, I'll let you copy my homework just like how it was back in sophomore year.

I just wish things get back the way it was. It was great...I was happy and I can tell you were, as well. I hope you realize that I care about our friendship and I never gave up... I want to tell you, but I don't know how. I want you to realize...I want you to know how much effort I've done...I want you know acknowledge that I never gave up.

Best friend, I really miss you.
I hope we become friends once again.

-Christian.

PS, this is really long. I'm sorry :P

One year;

Today, February 6th.
We've became friends for a year.

It was just exactly a year ago when I stepped off the bus.
When I saw and talked to you.
Telling you how we've been talking lately but never knew our names.
It's been a year since we introduced ourselves to each other.

It's been a year;
Since we've became friends.

We haven't been talking lately.
We still haven't met up and hang out.
But you know, I'm still waiting.
For us to talk. For us to listen to each other.
And for us to become friends once again.

We've been drifting apart.
I don't like every single second of it.
I still look back when we actually talked every single day.
I miss those days, what happened to those?

I'm still hoping for us to reunite.
I don't know when, but I'm sure it will come.
Someday, we will be friends again.

Despite what has happened
I still consider you as my only best friend.
Why? I will never give up.
Our friendship is something I cherish the most.
I hope you understand.

It's been a year.
It felt very quick, didn't it?


Your long lost friend;
//Christian.

1/06/10;

It's been eleven months

Since we've became friends.

Many things happened over those past months.

Happiness, sadness.

Separation, and reunion.

Over a short period of time that felt long and short at the same time.

I was planning to meet up with you at this day.

Unfortunately, you also have plans.

I wish to tell you everything I have to say on this day.

The things I've always wanted to tell you since summer.

To understand me better, and to know me more as a person.

But sadly, you're not here.

You're my best friend.

I trust you more than anyone.

But whenever I need you, you're nowhere in reach.

I'm upset.

I cannot tell you we've been friends for eleven months.

I also cannot ask you to meet up any longer, as well.

I'm afraid that you might hate me.

Therefore, I'll just keep my mouth shut.

I may lost hope.

Hopefully, I'll get up once again.

I'll deal with this pain.

Because I know, we'll meet up soon and the pain will be gone.

Someday.

I'll regain that hope.

You're my best friend, after all.

On the bright side,

It's been eleven months. Isn't that something?

I mean, it's quite a short time actually.

But...you've gain my trust over those months!

Or rather...I gave you my trust.

We may not be talking as often as before. But I know we will talk someday!

I will wait until that day comes.

Until then, I will wait.

//Christian.

2009 Recapitulation. My best friend and I;

This year has been great for me.

In a personal sense, I've learned so much and woke me up a lot of times.

Happiness, sadness, doubt and confusion were all in me.

Sometimes, I dont even think I can handle a day or so.

But I kept my head up and kept going.

This blog post is much different than what I have posted on Tumblr.

On that one, I explained the events over the year.

On this particular post, I will explain what I've gone through this year mentally and emotionally.

January;

I get the new schedule for second semester and go to all my new classes. Same teachers, maybe different classmates is all. Sixth period Algebra 2 came in and I saw someone. Turns out, we're now in the same class. I was surprised at first. But I soon realized I was actually happy. I can see her in front of me in class. We talked once because she asked for my help on a quiz. It was very short, but we were able to talk. I remembered when I had to pass by her but the aisle was very narrow and one had to scoot up. We also had a short conversation and hitting paper to each other as if we knew each other well.

But in actuality, we didn't even know each other at all.

At the end of the month, the badminton information meeting happened after school. I remember both of us went and because of another friend, I was able to know.

All I just knew, the next day, you started talking to me. You even complimented my shirt! From there, I was just happy. I know we're going to be friends.

February;

You see, this was a great month for me. This is the month when we became friends. I remembered getting off the bus and I started talking to you. I told you that we've been talking a lot lately but we never seem to know each others names. I asked for your name And as you tell me your name, I responded "Christian, pleased to meet you." Complete with a handshake. From there, I was happier than I can imagine. I mean, we're finally friends! What else can I ask for? I remember that same day, I had to stay in my Spanish class during lunch due to a test. I got out and I saw you! You complimented on my shoes and I asked why you were on that side of the campus? It's funny how you got caught chewing gum. :]]. But we ended up walking together to our respective group of friends. It's very weird in a sense though. The day we became friends is also the day I walked with you alone for the first time. Can I be more happy or what? Trust me, February 6th, 2009 was one of the best days in my life. Really. It made me smile and gave me hope.

OH! Badminton tryouts! We started talking more during those times. Heck, we even played together and talking about what we got for that Math quiz at the same time! Just how nerdy we are, huh? It's quite amazing how you noticed that I always look very sleepy. Like I'm not sleepy at all but I look like it! Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. I missed the chance to get to know you more. I was...devastated. I thought we would be closer friends if I made the team. But oh well, I still wrote you a letter of congratulations, right? xD.

March;

Oh, March. This was quite a quick month. I don't remember much of it. All I remembered was I stayed one time at badminton practice just lying around and you would appear out of nowhere asking what I was doing when I'm simply doing Spanish homework. Spring Break happened on that month, too. So we didn't see each other for two weeks and I was pretty sad. But so many things happened during break that I just have to tell you about it! I just hoped you'll listen and everything.

April;

This month was very interesting for me and for both of us. We came back from break around late March and I started telling you about my spring break. I told you so many things but it kept getting interrupted because of the bell or anything. What I liked about though is you listened to everything I said. No one has done that to me before but you. I was very happy when you pretty much looked forward me telling you something! :]]. Even though it took me more than 3 weeks telling you what I did over spring break, it was just fun telling you. That month too is when I stayed in the badminton games at least once a week. We would talk about random things while you're resting or just hanging around! The best thing? We get to know each other! And I met your little sister! She's so adorable! xD. It was also the month when we started talking a lot; more than what I imagined. But I became sad all of a sudden when I heard that you're going to the prom with someone. I was so happy here and there. All of a sudden, it turned upside down and I didn't know what to do. I was...scared. Despite that, I wanted to make you happy! So with the help of my friend, I made a sign just for you! Simple words of encouragement. When I showed it to you, you liked it. And I was...happy. I mean, someone appreciated what I made. I spent a lot of time on that and I'm just glad you liked it.

But again, I started getting more worried and scared. I don't know why.

May;

As prom gets closer and closer, I get more worried and scared. I'm afraid that we won't be friends anymore if anything happened to you and your date. Assumptions, fear, and everything negative is what I felt. It was very tough for me. Like, those what if's and all of that. I was just...scared. We didn't talk for a whole week because of my fears. I thought I'm being a bother and I just didn't..talk. But I had no choice but to be happy for you and your date on prom night. I'm sure you were happy and that's all I want you to be. As chiche as it sounds, because when you're happy, I'm happy. I just can't do anything but to smile for you...even though I'm crying inside.

On the brightside, before those and maybe after all of that happened. We were still able to talk. I remember walking with you to your ride because your best friend//classmate was sick for a few days and you had no one to walk with. So I took that opportunity to walk with you. As always, we talked about random things. Just walking with you felt great. I saw your litle sister and your mom once again! This time, you introduced me to your mom. I'm glad that she was nice to me. I thought I would get killed because I'm a guy xD. And to your little sister, she still adorable! :]. For those two days walking you to your ride, it was great! Because I know that won't happen again so I had to make the most out of it.

OH! Remember when I stayed up all night finishing up that 96-Question Algebra 2 review early so you could copy it? Yeah, it was crazy when I did that. But I tried anything I can do just to help you. I remembered you had lower grades than me in Math that I felt that I just have to help you. At first you didnt want to take it because you told me it was too much. But I did it because of you and I had to tell you multiple times until you took all of it! ;]. Despite getting very tired after doing all of those, it was all worth it. Because I know I did what I can do to help you.

June;

This month was filled so many great memories! The final weeks of school were just there. We talked for the longest time in class when we had that block schedule. Just everything we can think of, I had fun just being with you. I told you that I trust you completely and told you my biggest fear. I didn't mention any names, but that problem involves you. That whole problem about losing you as a friend. But of course, I didnt mention you so I just said it was someone close to me. But despite that, I still kept a smiling face. I fixed your iPod touch over that one weekend too! It was fun messing with your iPod! I customized it so its for you but I pretty much made it look like my iPod! But I was glad you liked it! The last day of school, we hung out before class for the last time. It was just us and two other friends. I can't believe it was the last time we're going to do that. Because it won't come back anymore =[. Well, we finally headed to class and took the last Final. We both finished early and signed each others yearbooks. I promised myself not to read what you wrote until I get back home because I want it to be fresh and be happy to be reading it!

Well, school finally ended and we were all happy! I started hugging everybody and then I asked if I can hug you. And we did. You give the best and softest hugs! I held you for so long that I don't even remember how long we hugged! You know, I was tearing up a little. Not because I'll be sad that I won't see you in a long time. But I was...happy! I was happy that we actually became this close for a short amount of time. And that's extraordinary. I told you that I'm going to miss you and you told me that you're going to miss me, too. I told you not to forget my souvenir when you go to Thailand and Indonesia, you said you wont. When I let go, we were both smiling. I then pinched your cheek! :D. You have the softest cheeks! It's so cute! :]]. Then you pinched mine! xD. And then we hugged for the second time! It was a very long one again. :]. But I know I have to let go and say "bye" in a long time. I know I will see you anytime soon but I will still miss you, so I walked away with a smile on my face and tears on my eyes.

On a random summer day, I called you. I told you that I was updating you what has happened, like me going to the Grand Canyon. I told you that I miss you and I was so happy to hear "Miss you too!" over the phone. Those three words made my day, really. And I carried that with me just so I will stay happy.

I thought things will get better. Until I found out that you're going out with the person you like. That same person who took you to prom. That person you always talk to me about all the time. Now what I've been afraid of over these times have finally surfaced; The fact that I'm afraid of losing friendships because you now have a significant other. I now feel that it's impossible for us to be friends. That you'll just drift away from me and I can't do anything but to see you moving farther and farther. I dont want that to happen.

I still miss you, but I know we'll see each other soon.

So I held on.

July;

Since the beginning of summer, I wanted to hang out with you. Just so I can tell you everything. I wanted to plan it out. I know that will make my whole summer worthwhile. But I was too late. I found out that you already left for vacation overseas for a whole month. I asked if we could hang out just a couple of days after you left. I was too late. If only I asked a few days earlier, what would happen? At least I could have said my best wishes to your vacation! But...it never happened so I have no idea. I was too late. I was very devastated and upset. I wasn't able to smile or do anything for a few days. I thought the chances of hanging out with you is close to impossible now. All I could do was to wait to find out. I waited for a whole month.

I miss you more than what I thought but,

All I could do is to wait.

August;

This was quite surprising. I didn't expect to see you on the day when we pick up our schedules and textbooks. I saw you from far away. I'm just glad that you came back safe and sound. I was just happy to know that. I finally asked you if we could hang out before school starts. But you had to go to the beach instead. From there, I was just...upset once again. I waited for a whole month just to hope that we could hang out. Only to realize, you still have other plans and I'm still too late. There, I ended my summer not hanging out with you. And it was quite a disappointment to myself.

The first day of school, we didn't see each other until the very end of the school day. But at least I still saw you. I gave you a hug, and told you I missed you. We were able to talk for a few minutes...only to know that we have to go to our class. But hey, I was happy to see you again! Maybe we didn't hang out, but seeing you made it all up.

Over the first weeks of school, we would talk here and there, just like before.

But as time passes,

I know something is going to disappear.

September;

Now I start to feel it. We weren't talking as much anymore. Heck, I don't even see you that much, as well. As stubborn as I am, I dont want to say that we're drifting apart. I just think about it as we're both busy with school and our personal lives. Once in a while, we would have a good talk...only to expect a long time in silence and not seeing each other. I remembered walking with you, though. Walking with you to your practice, carrying your tennis bag, catching up with everything a little bit...made me happy. I'm sure everything we do together makes me happy. But feeling that after a long time that we haven't spoken a word to each other or met eyes, it's quite hard but rewarding that I'm finally smiling.

Once in a while,

I will smile. That's because it came from you.

A genuine smile, because you're the only one who can give that to me.

October;

This month, it was your birthday. The 17th of October. I stayed up all night folding two origami bunnies and writing a birthday note. I decided to write a more sincere note inside one of the bunnies. I originally put it there and not tell you about it so it's up to you if you find out about it and read it. But I just gave you a small hint and actually read it. I dont know what you thought about the note. I would like to know, but I don't.

You told me you loved the bunnies that I folded. I'm glad. It's been a long time since I folded those. Just the memories behind the origami is just there. How I taught you how to fold it months ago, and thanking me to teach you something new.

That month was for you to celebrate.

I'm glad my present made you happy.

Because it sure did the same thing to me.

November;

Now now, this was a very quick month. Not much happened over this month. Maybe the occasional "hi", wave and high fives during passing period. And still...the fear of losing friendships. Schoolwork made me occupied and acted as a distraction to what I've been feeling about our seemingly-drifting friendship. I dont want to think we're drifting, we're just busy. And I know it's an excuse. But as soon as I finally finish all my schoolwork, reality kicks in again. It hurts, but I have to deal with it. If I strongly feel about this friendship, I must hold onto it no matter what.

We were able to talk during Thanksgiving break. I mentioned the hang out briefly and I'm glad you still remembered! Simple things like that make my whole emotional structure stable again.

I'm still grateful that we became friends.

And I'm holding onto it no matter what.

December;

This month, it was my birthday. We bumped into each other and we talked for a little bit. I'm glad you remembered my birthday. You told me if I'm doing anything, or want to do anything, I should tell you. So I thought of what to do for my birthday as that's the only way we can hang out for now. We ended up eating out at a pizza shoppe. We were able to catch up more than I expected. Just being with you....was great. :]. I also told you a bit of what I'm going to tell you when we actually meet up at the park. I couldn't tell you at the restaurant. I have to tell you at the park. When there's no one there and I can tell you everything without hesitation.

Reality striked again, though. The few weeks before Finals, we didnt talk for a long time again just like how it was for the past months. It's really...depressing. I didn't even get to see you and tell you to have an awesome winter break after Finals.

Now that it's winter break. I'm just waiting for a great day for us to meet up. I think it will happen in January, but it doesn't matter anymore. As long as we see each other and tell you everything, that's all what matters to me. Nothing else, just truth to be spoken and everything. I hope we meet up, though.

This year, I met you.

We've became so close over the course of a few months.

I know I can trust you completely.

You have my trust, and we formed bonds to each other.

A genuine smile and happiness only you can give me.

But you also gave me a lot of fear and sadness.

Despite all of that.

You truly are, my only best friend.

Hopefully, we can make this friendship much better next year.

I hope you'll be able to trust me.

I hope you'll also put effort to it as much as I put everything I can.

Because I care.

I miss you.

I really want to see you.

To make this friendship better.

I need you.

I love you, my best friend.

//Christian.

Lately ;

I've been doing a lot of things.
Schoolwork here, there, throw in a few projects and homework along the way.
Leaving me very tired who lacks sleep.

But, I stayed up all night.
From thursday night, I didn't go to sleep at all.

Why, you ask?
I was creating something for my friend.
My friend's birthday gift, that is.
Two origami bunnies and a birthday note.

What my friend doesn't know is I also wrote a note
at one of the bunnies then folded it.
It's on a more deeper tone than the cheerful, obvious birthday note I wrote xD
I dont know if I should tell, or have them figure it out on their own.

Writing the notes took me a long time.
It took me more than 3 hours!
Folding the bunny didn't take that much.
But hey! xD

When everything was done, I felt a big relief.
I felt very happy on what I did.
Staying up all night without any sleep to create something for my friend.
I know my efforts didn't go to waste.
My hard work will pay off soon.
And it made me smile more than I have lately xD

I hope my friend is happy.
That's all I wish for. :]

//Christian.

Happy Birthday ;

Today is my friend's birthday.

As I stated on my other post,
I gave her two origami bunnies and a note
...also a note inside one bunny xD

I know I won't see my friend today
So I gave it to her yesterday.
She thanked me upon recieving.

Today, I greeted her again.
My friend thanked me again.
She also told me she also 'loved' the bunnies I folded.

I was happy.
That made my day.
I never knew something so simple can make someone happy.
I haven't smiled this much for a long time.
...I almost forgot how it is!

I cannot express anything else but happiness
and how grateful I am. xD


Though I know,
I will be falling asleep
With a smile in my face. :]


Happy Birthday, best friend.


Sincerely;
//Christian.

Friendship;

I just had the thought again.
Where did our friendship go?

Not too long ago, we used to talk every single time.
We would entertain each other, laugh at one another and smile together.
Those times, were the best.
I've never felt so happy before.
Or maybe, my true happiness showed.

Now that it's gone. I dont know what to do.
Months have passed since, and I still look back.
Remembering, how the feeling was.
The feeling is still there. But they're merely memories
and it is in the depths of oblivion.

I'm very sad.
What's worse, you don't realize it.
I always want to talk, but I can't.
Also, I'm scared...

I'm wondering;
Where did our friendship go?

I miss you;

Dearest friend,

You see, something is missing.
Something that is very important to me.
Which is ir

I wonder where it went;

Our endless conversations.
The interesting topics we talk about all the time.
That simple "hi" everytime we pass by.
High five.
Walking together.
Laughing together.
Either one of us appearing out of nowhere and start talking.
Seeing each other at the same place every single day.
Helping each other out.
Learning new things.
and... Getting to know each other.

I've been longing for those
that seemed into depths of oblivion now.
It may sound insignificant to you
but it means more than anything to me.

Once again,
I wonder where it went.
That friendship...where is it?

You know,

I miss you.
//Christian.

This past month;

Has been a bit plain, boring, hectic, fun and everything in between.

But something is missing...
Something that is very important to me.

I wonder where it went.

*sigh, what a month.

Not complete ;

My summer vacation, that is.

I didn't complete my summer vacation the way I wanted it or wished to be.
I was very upset. I kept being enthusiastic about it for two months.
But it never happened.

I'll just keep everything as it is.
Blahh, I'll see them tomorrow. I hope this 'reunion' will be great.
Because I miss them.

But, after all.
My summer is incomplete. T__T

The conclusion ;

Today concludes my summer vacation.
Tomorrow, I shall go to school and start my life as a Junior.

This summer, was kind of boring and fun at the same time.
I did a lot of things; watched anime, JDrama, endless hours online and sleeping...oh, the sleep is important!
...I think there's more, I'm not sure.

Many ups and downs happened over the past two months.
I got so excited over the smallest things, yet it's usually the same ones that pulls me down.
Philippine Allstars defending first place during prelims but they end up on 4th place at the Finals, expecting for a few hangouts only to be cancelled or whatnot because of something, wanting to learn a lot of things but ends up failing and such. *sigh.
Procrastination sucked toooo. I was supposed to blog about tons of things, but I ended up not doing so T__T
It's weird, you may say. xD

Despite all that, I think I had fun.
...I think

Oh well, time to enjoy school! :]

//Christian.

Don't you hate it ;

Don't you hate it
When you finally tried calling someone
after hours or maybe days of fear
only to find out they didn't answer?

Don't you hate it
When you sent someone a text message
waiting for hours and hours... for their response
But you didnt recieve anything.

Don't you hate it
When you set out plans
with someone whom you consider very important to you
Only something happened for it to cancel.

Last of all.
Don't you hate it
When you really need someone
But they're not there for you.


I lost hope.

It's been ;

Six months since.
I am grateful for everything.
I am very glad I met you.
I'm so happy we became friends.

Thank you.

//Christian.

An unexpected surprise ;

Today, I went to school to pick up my schedule and textbooks. I tried making the process as quick as possible to get it over with. I didn't see that much people around, so I sat down all by myself. I also decided to stay in campus for a while.

Back to the point,
When pretty much everybody left, I was at one of the tables with just me alone just spacing out and staring into nothing.
Eventually, I saw someone. It looked like the person but I wasn't sure.
I keep asking myself, "Is that who I think it is?".
I wanted to come closer but I'm still not sure!

When they left, I found out...
...it was the person.

I was very surprised!
I can't believe it. It was so unexpected, really!
An unexpected surprise, indeed.

I'm glad they came back safe and sound.
Seeing the person again...
...I was happy.

You know,
Welcome Back.

//Christian.

PS; Geez, I'm horrible at writing things now. T__T

A Horrible Dream ;

Don't you hate it when you wake up all of a sudden because your dream ended up very horrible?
That happened to me just now.

Have you ever expected dreaming about someone important to you,
For a long time, you've always wanted to dream about them and they finally appeared,
Only to see them in your dream as a complete different person.

How did that happen?

When you approach and attempt to talk to them,
They will just turn and walk away as if it was nothing.
And you're there, standing, wondering what have you done.

What did I do?

I woke up filled with worry, anxiety and fear.
I was worried my friend who I really care about, will soon become a complete different person like it was on the dream.
Scared... that we are not going to be friends anymore.

I am scared.

I've always believed what happens to my dreams are soon going to happen.
I'm not sure when. But I know it's anytime soon.
Not sure if this is just paranoia or it's going to be reality later on.

I hope not.

I like dreams a lot.
I just don't like horrible ones.
T____T.

I just hope everything's going to be the same.

//Christian.

It's been ;

Eleven days since I posted a blog here. I've been lagging, huh? Wellps, I think I'm going to write a lot of what has been happening lately. :]
I dont know, in form of several different entries? Don't worry, I'll write some thoughtful ones, too xD

It's been a month since Michael Jackson passed away. I got over it already, but I still cant believe that happened so soon and sudden.
That month has beeeen very quick, huh? It was just last month when I was at the beach having fun until I heard the news.
But he's already six feet deep, I already left him alone.

Today;
I woke up from the weirdest dream. In one scene, I was at a public school in the Philippines as a student, and you know how dirty and crappy they get. Before I know it, I was sent to a movie scene with some guy trying to kill my friends and I then some doode jumped into the man and the man shot himself! After a dramatic scene, I woke up.
I went driving right after I woke up. I'm getting my turns in check! I hate U-turns though. -___-.
After that, I just watched more anime and got sidetracked from reading Final Fantasy related articles to watching YouTube videos about people hating on skinny jeans. WTF?!
Hmm, I went to a typical Filipino party. Food is gooood, but I got full easily. After I ate, I sat all by myself and was texting or falling asleep. :]]

Now I'm at home.
I'm scared, I might not be going there for next year. -____-
Wellps, yeah. Thanks for reading! xD

julyFourteen

What a long day...

I started the day with Joe Inoue's 「GO★」. Lately, I've been listening to that song...and only that song! It's a very awesome song though :].
By 2PM, I went to Guardian Angel to have them sign my permit. Now I can drive with a parent, sweeet! :]... I passed by Krikorian, though. I cannot believe I already see campers waiting for the Harry Potter movie. OMGWTFKOREANBBQ! Seriously nao? What the hell are you going to do in 10 hours?! Sheesh. T__T

Anyway, Since there's still a lot of time for me before I go to church, I then went with JD to theMills and shopped a little bit. We went around to a lot of stores, goofed around and just chilled. I ended up at Anchor Blue spending the $50 giftcard I won at the Twitter game. :]. I got myself a new pair of jeans, a polo shirt and a scarf. YUMMY! xD

After theMills, I went to church for a youthnight // bonfire. Since the city of Loma Linda doesn't allow us to set up a fire, we did an improptu version. Candles were used instead. It was hot anyway, so the candles were just used for lighting. A lot of things happened, tons of crazy, funny, bizzare, and amazing times. Yay for skits and horrible singing! After all, I was very happy I even went there. Tahaha, plus I wanted to breathe some outside air. It gets tiring living on my room after a while.

I'm going to Knotts Berry Farm tomorrow! This should be fun! Yaaaaay! :]]

Now I'm back home; Sore legs from walking around, still has to do laundry, and a small nap so I won't oversleep for Knotts tomorrow.
Wellps, two blog entries in less than an hour. That's awesome :]

Thanks for reading,
//Christian.

julyThirteen ;

I was lazy to update my blog yesterday, so I'll just do it today. T__T

I started my day...and even the whole night/earlymorning staying up with Megan. She was leaving for theNetherlands on the same day. So there, we just texted and texted until she had to turn off the phone cause she's on the plane.
I miss her now though. T___T

A few hours later;
So I was at the DMV to get my permit test, after waiting forever for my turn I finally took the test. I was pretty nervous, but when I find out most of the answers were nothing but common sense, everything went smooth from there. I was finally done. Very scared on how many answers I got wrong... but turns out I only missed three, and I passed!

Now, I have a Learner's Permit! :]
But it was weird, though. I never studied and reviewed at all. I even cheated my way to completing the online driving lessons just to get it over with! :]
Nevermind that, though. I still have my permit xD

From there, I just did the usual when I got back home.
*sigh, I'm tired :]]

That was very fast. ;

It's already been a month since school ended!
That was a very quick month :]]
I didn't even realize it's been that long.

Let's see what I did over the first month of summer;

• I started summer with MVP Valentine, a Taiwanese drama that took me five days to finish 26 episodes.

• Arizona and Grand Canyon over that weekend.

• As soon as I came back home, I started watching Ouran High School Host Club for the second time, finished by less than 4 days.

• I went to Huntington Beach on the 25th for ateSkuh's birthday with more than 25 friends. We all had fun.
• ...but that's also the day Michael Jackson passed away. I was very sad. T____T
• Watched Slam Dunk, a basketball-themed anime for the second time. Took me a whole week to finish. Very intresting indeed.
• Wrote a couple of blogs here and there and tried something new like DJ Mixing and the such.

Dayng, that was a lot, actually. But I'm not satisfied! I feel like I haven't done anything awesome yet. I wanna try drawing, origami, and VLogging. I think they are interesting. Learning backflips and going back to dancing once again, as well. Also maybe a video game marathon? With RPG games I grew up playing and finishing, probably? I dont know.


I apologize this blog is kind of unorganized in every way possible.
I just wanted to list out what I did :]]
But anyway, I have one more month to spend. Probably I can do all the things I mentioned above? Who knows. Tahahah.

Anyways, I'm done.
This blog entry is a mess. T___T
Till next time!

//Christian.

discJockey ;

DJing?! You gotta be kidding me! :]

Today, I decided to mess around with VirtualDJ, a DJ mixing software. I had nothing better to do, so I gave it a shot. With a few MP3 files, a keyboard, mouse and a pair of headphones for cue playback I tried to imitate how the DJ mixed the songs in this YouTube video.

It took me hours to understand the technique behind it. Though I had a hard time, it was fun messing with it :]]. I can at least beatmatch from one song to another, but I'm kinda having a difficult time beatmatching and transitioning to the third song. Oh, the difficulty.

Anyhow, I think I learned something new today. Something awesome and I can at least show off my noobability to my friends xD. WHY didn't I do this earlier?! I would have learned tons of new things every single day. *sigh. Ohwell, might as well just start now :]]

This is one of my random blabbers, very different from the other two entries I made lately.
Thank you for reading. Next time, it's an another well thought entry.


Until then,
//Christian.

tooLate ;

I was too late.


Don't you hate it when you always wanted to ask or tell someone something that seems very important to you. Only to know they already left somewhere far and you're not going to see or have any connection with them in a very long time.
I hate it, I really do.

It happened to me. I've been wanting to ask my friend if we can hang out for a long time. For two weeks, actually. When I actually asked it, I was too late.
I was only one day late.

I felt very discouraged. I was devastated. It seemed like I can never hang out with them anymore. It felt my chances just became next to impossible.
I missed my chance.

I started thinking. If I just asked a few days, or even a few hours earlier, what would happen? Will things be the same? Is it going to make a difference, or even a very small one? What would it be? As this wasn't the case,
I have no idea.

If only I asked in time. I would at least have a last conversation or even a hang out with them before they leave and I could have told them my regards to have a safe trip. Things would have been much better for both of us. Or so it seems. I wish it ended up that way, but.


Unfortunately,
I was too late.

dearestFriend ;

Hey hey, how's it been?


It's been five months.
The first time I said hi to you.
We've talked a lot of times before. During class and then-lately, before we even go to class. Though I've never said a simple "hi" to you prior to that day, we would talk that seemed endless until it is time for us to head to class. From homework to the most random things, we never failed to stopped talking. It just kept going and going and going!

It's been five months.
Since we knew each others names.
Prior to that day and despite the fact I've talked to you a couple of times before, we never our names. The words "hey" or something replacing the names were used to each other. I knew I was just waiting for the right time to ask for your name. And then the day came. I told you how we've been talking lately but never seem to know our names. So then I asked, you replied with your name. I then responded by "Christian, pleased to meet you". Complete with a handshake.

It's been five months.
The first time I walked with you alone.
I remembered the conversations well. We talked about a lot of things, but we were walking too fast. I know it's going to end very soon, so I just made the best out of it.

It's been five months.
Since we've became friends.
I knew from that handshake, we're finally friends. I made a new friend. From there, many interesting things happened which I cannot express through words. We talked a lot, messed around soo much, taught each other some new things, helping each other, and the best of all; we got to know each other. Over the course of that short time, we formed bonds and trust.

These months, felt very quick and slow at the same time. But within those months, there were many irreplaceable moments I cherish dearly. I'm sure you know, as there were so much to remember.

Thank you for being such a great friend.
I'm really glad I met you.
Once again, thank you very much.


Your greatest friend,
//Christian.

First day of July ;

Hi readers,

Since I write very late, my entries tends to be a day or two behind.
Anyways, yesterday was the first day of July. It's been great so far, actually. Slam Dunk anime when I woke up, and another session of surfing the Internet. The usual day, eeehh T__T

I went to Skuh's place during the afternoon for a movie night. Unforunately, due to certain reasons and a dentist appointment that night, the only thing I could do was pass by her house and bid my farewell...for now. The dentist appointment only took me 30 minutes this time, when before it took me more than an hour which sucked T___T. Home, there were visitors who came by. Pretty chill people, but since they're adults, I can't intervene. So here, I'm once again locked up in my room writing a blog :]

AUGH! I tried using my phone's old battery which had a bad history of keeping the phone on for at least 30 minutes. While I was out, my phone died on me. I tried turning it on but it will turn off on me before it even gives me a chance to look at the home screen! The phone reads 95% though. Friggin weird. So I had to use my dad's phone to recieve tweets and message temporarily and boy, I had a hard time typing on ABC 123-completely not my way of inputting text messages anymore. As soon as I came back home, I swapped the battery and charged it! Never going back to the busted battery again...T__T

I'm going to miss Skuh, as well. She's been so great to me for the past two years. I just hope this will never change wherever she goes. But then, I still haven't forgotten about the shoes I'm going to buy soon and have her draw on it! *sigh, seriously, I'm sobbing and crying. (((T____________T;)

So the first day was fun, I guess.
I wonder what the second day will give me.
Thanks for reading!

In honest thoughts;
//Christian.

Last day of the month ;

Oh, hai.

Today is the last day of June. Time files very fast, really. I didn't even realize the month of June is going to end soon and July will take its place.

As of events that happened over the course of the month, not much happened actually. There were tough times as much there were amazingly fun times. From the last weeks of school, finally the taste of freedom after school ended, living in my own room for a large amount of time to actually going outside and experience Summer.

The beginning of the month, I was studying for the Finals. Afternoons filled with very long naps and sleepless nights/early mornings topped with power naps along the way while cramming every bit of information before I get ready for school.
After days of asking people to sign my yearbook and silly conversations here and there, school finally came to an end. Happiness was brought to my heart without hesitation. From there, I know I just have to be smiling xD

Just when things became awesome, I realized I have nowhere to go on this barren town filled with nothing. I was forced to stay in my room and live here. Anime, JDrama, and theInternet kept me busy...and bored at the same time. The same routine was on effect on the first two weeks of summer.

Two weekends ago, I went to the Grand Canyon. Very beautiful and breathtaking. It was very cool and was lucky the climate was like that when we were there. Phoenix was a hellhole, though. It was too hot and dry, I can't stand it!

But the best day of Summer happened a few days ago! My friend's birthday party at the beach! There were at least 25 of us and it was a lot of fun. It felt like ages the last time I saw everybody, especially the recent graduates whom I'm going to miss. It was also my first time going outside since. Let's just keep it that way, yay!

Despite the month being very quick, many great things to me. Plethora amounts of firsts, happiness, mixed emotions and boredom. I'd keep to myself what happened exactly. But, yeah!

Summing up what happened over the month, it's been great!
I'm glad and very happy. Tons of unexpected things happened. Whether its good or bad, it doesn't matter to me. It still gave me an awesome month for me to experience.

Now I must wave GoodBye to June and welcome July with open arms
and hopefully, July will give me a great month for me to see.

Till then,
//Christian.

6/26, What a day ;

Hello readers,

As you may have heard, music icon Michael Joseph Jackson passed away yesterday at 2:26PM. The cause was cardiac arrest, or heart attack. He was fifty years old.
I found out about this through Twitter updates when I was at the beach. Of course at first, I didnt quite believe it. When more tweets came into my phone saying, 'Michael Jackson is dead', that's when I told myself "Yeah, it's true...". By the time I arrived home, the first thing I did was to check news sites and Wikipedia, just to find out more sad thruth about it.

I grew up with his music though I cannot call myself a fan. But I can say I liked listening to most of his songs. Being called the King of Pop, he made the Moonwalk popular and made it his signature move. Not to mention the plethora of accolades, records and achievements he has made through his lifetime. Nevermind his downfalls and allegations, those were his problems. Ditch the childish jokes and focus more on his music, dance and charisma where he fully shines. A legend, a musical genius, that's the actual Michael Jackson he wants to show the world to.

In my deepest feelings, I felt heartbroken and very sad about it. Grieving for him is just as similar grieving for a lost family member. Not only that death is one of the worst things out there, it felt like he bid his farewell to us too soon. Very unexpected, indeed. Sixteen days before his first concert in eleven years, he had to leave. All fifty This Is It sold-out concerts over the duration of one year cancelled, and crushed hopes for his comeback into music because of his death. It sucks, isn't it?

In my honest opinion, he's not one of the best musicians in history. He's the best musician in history. At least, in my whole lifetime I'm sure I won't see anyone that can surpass the King of Pop.

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson.
Sure, his life might have put to an end too soon, but another legend lives on.
His spirit, music and everything he left into this world will never be forgotten.

I think I have said enough.
Thank you for reading.


In deepest thoughts;
//Christian.

First Post ;

Hello everybody!
I figured I can't just keep going on my Multiply account.
It's just too much for me and it's kinda unorganized. So I decided that will be just for my own journal use so it will make me remember certain events I don't want to forget.

So here! Welcome to the new blog!
Enjoy your stay! I shall write a lot in here, I have to! :]]
You will never know when my next attack will be.
Stay tuned.

That's it for now.
Once again, welcome!

YoursTruly;
^__^//Christian.